Like my most important relationships, my most meaningful culinary experiences have come from some level or degree of hardship. There was that ribeye i was craving all that one week…until i finally timed just right nap times, feedings and traffic to allow me to get to that butcher shop, my new butcher shop obsession (definitely more on this later!). I get shoes, hats and coats on when it dawns on me that i never checked to see what time they closed.  Not enough time to make the 30 minute trek. Ahhh, another day i wait! Also like those above-mentioned relationships, there are those spontaneous events that whirl you toward nothing you pictured but everything you dreamed of. Take these oysters for example. These oysters. I never knew these oysters even existed until now.  I’ve never met an oyster I didn’t like and can’t even remember the very first time one of those plump little mollusks entered my life, but i do know that i can never live without them.

But these oysters will go down in my play book as a game changer. No longer will i only look to restaurants and grocery store pints of the already-shucked variety in order to get my oyster fix. I have discovered the Oyster Roast. I suppose i always knew in the possibility of such a thing, but it just so happened that this past weekend, sun , moon and stars aligned to bring me my very first experience. We were in South Carolina to visit with my in-laws and to celebrate my mother and father in-law’s 35th anniversary. I must mention that an unspoken prerequisite to being close to me is that you must love food. The more varied the range of options you consider to be acceptable dining possibilities, the closer we probably are. In fact, my foodie idol is Andrew Zimmern of Travel Channel’s Bizarre Foods. (Mr. Zimmern, if by the grace of divine intervention you happen to be reading my humble new blog, i would only like to tell you that i am madly in love with you and want to have ALL OF YOUR……culinary experiences copied and pasted into my life’s inbox! That is all.)  Ok, i was saying…my in-laws are Black, Samoan, Dominican, from the North and the South and we all eat it all. That my husband planned our Friday around seeking out a bushel of live crabs to cook was definitely a welcome surprise. AND Grandma wants us to leave the rug rats with her for some family bonding time?! Yes, please!

First, walking around the old store front shops in downtown Beaufort. Next, the highlight of our waterfront walking excursion: oyster po’boys at Plums.

I could’ve had a second, just to pick out the perfectly fried oysters drizzled with a tasty aioli, but i restrained myself. There were yet more to come. When we got to our crab finding destination, Gay Fish Co., a sweet elderly man in his low country twang told us that crabs were “about as hard to find as a hen’s tooth,” but there were a variety of other fresh catches of the day. What does that sign say? “OYSTERS: bushel $28”? Is this an apparition?

“Excuse me, sir. How many oysters come in a bushel?” I asked. His response is forever branded in my memory word for word:

“I don’t know how many oysters are in there but it’s 50 pounds. Fifty pounds of oyster clusters.” If it had been hot outside i would have asked this Southern gentleman for a fan to wave myself with, as this sudden and startling good news could cause a lady like myself to faint right then and there! But seriously though…the good fortune did not stop there! As one of the fishermen and Travis were loading the burlap bag full of oysters into our car i started looking around at the cozy simple decorations. On a shelf there was a picture of Tom Hanks and Gary Sinise in a scene from Forrest Gump. I wondered out loud, “Did Tom Hanks ever come here when they filmed in Beaufort?”

“Yeah he came in here. They used most of our boats for the movie.” How adorable is this place?! If Beaufort and it’s surrounding islands had a face, i would want to pinch it’s cheeks! My mind started to race with thoughts about what we could do with these oysters. Of course, I would have to sample at the very least a few (dozen) shucked fresh out of the shell. But what to do with the rest of them? And then Bubba’s voice popped into my head:

“You can barbecue it, boil it, broil it, bake it, saute it…shrimp-kabobs, shrimp creole, shrimp gumbo…pineapple shrimp, coconut shrimp…”. A stop at the nearby Piggly Wiggly on the hour long drive home afforded us with an official oyster shucking knife, a six pack of Jiffy mix, a couple pounds of zucchini, squash, lemons, a dozen ears of corn, shallots, red wine vinegar and a few other odds and ends (ONLY because the two farmers markets we stopped at along the way were both out of the fresh local variety of any of these foods. Yet another reason why i can not wait until Spring!) Still no concrete idea about how to cook these oyster clusters.

*At this point, i would like to formally apologize in advance for the lack of pictures of the different types of food i am about to describe. Words alone will not do them justice. But i was completely engulfed in the moment and i didn’t have my forward-thinking mind to remind me to take pictures for this very blog i knew i wanted to write. However, when we got to the main event of the evening, the now infamous First Annual Washington Family Oyster Roast, camera phones were out and pictures were taken.*

My mother in law, Faye, fried whole head-on tilapia and crunchy catfish nuggets. I used Jiffy mix for the base of my slightly sweet and extra moist corn bread. We had two types of cole slaw–one sweet and creamy with a little chopped pineapple, one savory with olives and a vinegar-based dressing. The corn, zucchini and squash were dressed with a simple start of olive oil, salt and pepper, then brushed with butter garlic sauce as they finished on the grill. I should mention that every item of this menu was a collaborative effort of the friends and family that surrounded the grill and bonfire outside or the kitchen inside. When a hungry friend standing by the grill discovers that the shallot with red wine vinegar sauce or the garlic and parsley butter i intended for the raw oysters, tastes good on veggies too, who can argue with a good thing?

That leads me to these oyster clusters. Opening about a dozen by hand for the first time ever and out in the winter cold can get really old really fast, never mind that they were in fact the most delectable raw oysters ever to graze these lips. I’m sure it was a man–either my husband or his brother–to first try and use the bonfire the way the caveman did.

A couple innovations with modern metal cooking cages later, and we stumbled upon wood-fired fresh roasted oysters.

Perfection was achieved. There was no reason to alter the cooking method any further. Once we saw an oyster sizzle then pop open, we’d flip the cluster over, apply a dab of garlic butter to the opened shell and wait for the heating side to pop open too before transferring the cluster to any solid surface surrounded by waiting hands.

This process has been stamped, approved by all present for mass consumption and will now be the new standard for all future Oyster Roasts.

Our goal was to finish off all 50 pounds that night and we did just that. Surrounded by the quiet peace of the country and millions of sparkly stars in a pitch black sky, we talked, laughed and jammed to a little Jah Cure Radio, until we fell over one by one into a food coma. I will be dreaming of this night for many many moons to come. Until we meet again, Oyster Roast. Until we meet again…